So, a few years back, I was at a small business workshop, and this speaker really got me thinking.

He had us make a list of three people we'd love to meet, no matter how famous or "out of reach." Then, he challenged us to figure out how to actually meet the person at the top of our list, to break down those mental barriers we put up.

Fun fact: He’s presented this same challenge to many folks – resulting in people meeting with celebrities to artists and even a 1:1 phone conversation with Hilary Clinton.

The idea stuck with me, especially now that we're all living in this digital world.

It feels as if we are closer than ever to connecting with celebrities. I mean, there are more social platforms out there than ever before - Slack, LinkedIn, Matcha, Commsor, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, YouTube, you name it. And those channels make us feel like big names are within reach. 

Just like Mr. Beast, my 8 year old has her own social channels. 

But perhaps instead of making people easier to reach or connect with, these platforms have also made it easier for each of us to hide behind a screen, to keep things surface-level. To stay at a 1:many level. 

So I've made it a point to actually get to know the people I connect with online.

Now this doesn't have to be a big effort, like a video call or meeting up in-person. (Although those ways are made easier with tech like Matcha and increasingly innovative events.) Truthfully, I often simply build connection by sending a quick, ‘hand-written’ DM to someone whose post really resonated with me. I think it’s important to let someone know their words meant something to me and made a difference in my day, week, year. 

Why? Because it’s authentic and refreshing. 

You'd be surprised how often people, even those we look up to or admire, don't hear positive feedback. We often assume that successful or influential people are constantly showered with praise, but that's not always the case. Everyone appreciates genuine recognition for their work, regardless of their status. In fact, it might even cheer them up, after dealing with online trolls. 

Sending a short, sincere message to someone whose work you admire can make their day and potentially open the door to a meaningful connection. It's a simple act that can have a surprisingly significant impact on both the receiver and the sender. 

This kind of positive feedback loop not only can provide a strong start to a connection but also fosters a more supportive and encouraging online community overall. Plus, it's a refreshingly simple way to make more real human connection in an increasingly anonymous world.

Take my relationship with Melissa from Matcha, for example.

It all started with a DM after I saw the launch of Matcha’s parent company, Commsor. I was so impressed that I decided to share their video in a Slack group. Melissa replied, “Hey, that’s my company!” and sent me a personal note as a follow-up.

Our conversation quickly moved from Slack to LinkedIn, where we both dropped comments on various threads, sharing insights and resources. We saw shared, overlapping interests in marketing, family, and – obviously – investing in authentic connections to help drive business growth.  

As our conversations continued, we transitioned to direct messages, allowing for more in-depth conversations and helping each other get unstuck with work challenges. Eventually, we exchanged emails and now regularly chat online to riff, vent, and uplift each other in our work. One initial, thoughtful DM and our willingness to nurture the connection has led to a mutually beneficial professional relationship.

That's the power of genuine online relationship building!

Look, it's not rocket science, but it does take effort. Laziness only gets you lazy experiences. You have to put yourself out there, be genuinely interested in the people you're connecting with. People can spot fake interactions a mile away, especially now with all the AI-generated stuff out there.

Being authentic matters more than ever. A few ways you can do this are:

• Tell someone in detail how you appreciate their contribution or their achievement
• Ask a question that leads to more in-depth discussion 
• Share an idea of your own that was spurred by something the other person said or did

I've built some incredible relationships this way. It's actually how I ended up in my current role as Head of Community at GoConfirm. I was active in another community, sharing valuable info, and someone recommended me to the Co-Founder. It all came full circle.

Now, I get to share my passion for GoConfirm, a platform that helps people trade and sell online without all the spam and scams. It's simple but powerful: you verify your identity with your government ID, the other person does the same, and boom, you can trust who you're dealing with. 

The lesson here is simple: make the time to be a good, appreciative human being.

If you feel it, share it. If you don't, don't force it - people can tell when it's not genuine. That's how we build real connections, even in a digital world.

I’d love to hear more about how you do the same!  Be sure to share your stories with the Matcha team at www.joyofconnect.ing.

Jason Etter is Head of Community at GoConfirm.  In his many roles as fractional marketing leader, advisor, and consultant, he works with companies to deliver thoughtful relationship-driven marketing strategy. He’s a big fan of Matcha’s effort to make professional networking more human-focused and you can connect with him at matcha.so/jason-Etter-marketing.